Saturday, March 9, 2013

How To Keep A Lasting Friendship - Guest Post by Jasmin

Hello, loyal page viewers of Bames Live!

I was asked by my dearest friend, Bames, to guest post in her lovely blog. And despite my busyness (and please understand that I am not a regular blogger like herself and my daughter Jodie), I managed to scribble a few lines for all of you. (Okay, I admit! I took this article from one of my notes in FaceBook.) But even so, I find this article so fitting because this is what Bames and I do.

My name is Jasmin and I pour my thoughts in Quotes From the Heart blog. Bames and I were classmates in Elementary and Secondary School in Manila, Philippines and we lost touch after graduation. But after long years of no communication, we found each other again, and guess where? In FaceBook! And now that she is in India, and I am still in the Philippines, we try to keep the communication lines always open (Yes, you guessed it right, in FaceBook!) to keep our friendship and make it last.    

A friendship that is as close as family doesn't happen in a day. Like anything worthwhile, it takes work. I am sharing some of the best advices I got from the book " Grits Friends are Forevah" by Deborah Ford, on building true friendship that last. Grits or no Grits, these apply to all girlfriends. J

1. Men give advice. Women give an ear. When your friend wants to talk about her troubles, the best thing to do is listen, and then listen some more. Sometimes, all a woman wants or needs, is a shoulder to cry on. Don't offer twenty ways to fix her problems, if she wanted someone who droned on and on about how she needed to fix herself, she would go to a man. Sometimes, when wounds are the freshest, it is best to say the fewest words. A simple hug and or a kiss would be enough if you are together.

2. The best way to grow friendship is to give time and opportunity. If you haven't spoken to your friend in a while, call her just to say hello (in present time, a text message or an email of a private message in FB will do,too). Find out what's happening in her life, and whether you can help in her pains and share in her joys. We're all busy but nothing is as important as spending time with those who are important to you. Stay in touch, spend time together, but offer space for the friendship to grow on its own.

3. Trust and honesty are essential to a close friendship. A real friend won't betray you and won't gossip about you and, above all else will always tell the truth. If it's time for you to give up the heels and short skirts - if there is really such a time for a true friend she will let you know. And she won't share that opinion with the whole neighborhood. She'll be gentle but she'll be truthful. In my mind, even a white lie is a red flag. (And I have to agree with this.)

4. Take time to let your friends know that you care. Giving gifts on birthdays, anniversaries, and for just any old reason at all. A card, an email, a text message or private message, or a little note of kind words will let them know that they are important to you.

"As iron sharpens iron,so a friend sharpens a friend." ~ Proverbs 27:17

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Posted by: Bames Pabla
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