Hello,
loyal page viewers of Bames Live!
I
was asked by my dearest friend, Bames, to guest post in her lovely blog. And
despite my busyness (and please understand that I am not a regular blogger like
herself and my daughter Jodie), I managed to scribble a few lines for all of
you. (Okay, I admit! I took this article from one of my notes in FaceBook.) But
even so, I find this article so fitting because this is what Bames and I do.
My
name is Jasmin and I pour my thoughts in Quotes From the Heart blog. Bames and
I were classmates in Elementary and Secondary School in Manila, Philippines India , and I am still in the Philippines
A
friendship that is as close as family doesn't happen in a day. Like anything
worthwhile, it takes work. I am sharing some of the best advices I got from the
book " Grits Friends are
Forevah" by Deborah Ford, on building true friendship that last.
Grits or no Grits, these apply to all girlfriends. J
1. Men give advice. Women give an
ear. When your friend wants to talk about her troubles, the best thing to do is
listen, and then listen some more. Sometimes, all a woman wants or needs, is a
shoulder to cry on. Don't offer twenty ways to fix her problems, if she wanted
someone who droned on and on about how she needed to fix herself, she would go
to a man. Sometimes,
when wounds are the freshest, it is best to say the fewest words. A simple hug
and or a kiss would be enough if you are together.
2. The best way to grow friendship
is to give time and opportunity. If you haven't spoken to your friend in a
while, call her just to say hello (in present time, a text message or an email of a
private message in FB will do,too). Find out what's happening in her life, and whether you
can help in her pains and share in her joys. We're all busy but nothing is as
important as spending time with those who are important to you. Stay in touch,
spend time together, but offer space for the friendship to grow on its own.
3. Trust and honesty are essential
to a close friendship. A real friend won't betray you and won't gossip about
you and, above all else will always tell the truth. If it's time for you to
give up the heels and short skirts - if there is really such a time for a true
friend she will let you know. And she won't share that opinion with the whole
neighborhood. She'll be gentle but she'll be truthful. In my mind, even a white
lie is a red flag. (And
I have to agree with this.)
4. Take time to let your friends
know that you care. Giving gifts on birthdays, anniversaries, and for
just any old reason at all. A card, an email, a text message or private
message, or a little note of kind words will let them know that they are
important to you.
"As iron sharpens iron,so a friend sharpens a friend." ~ Proverbs 27:17
